Meet the Uchihas
by just a rambling romantic
Summary: Finding out you’ve been killed by your oldest son 11 years ago is tough, but walking in on your youngest son in the middle of intercourse with another man is a whole other thing altogether. NaruSasu
1. Zombie Uchihas will eat UR BRAINZ

Okay, getting geared up to write the next chapter in The Anbu and the Teacher. (yeah right, more like putting it off) –bricked-

If the subect matter displeases you, run screaming in the opposite direction.

Summary- Finding out you've been killed by your oldest son 11 years ago is tough, but walking in on your youngest son in the middle of intercourse with another man is a whole other thing altogether.

**_edit!! The sex scenes have been redone and are much more understandable.. I hope..._**

-

I can't say for certain _how_ it happened. No one can, really. Rumors have been circling around the village since dawn. The old man in the ramen shop's daughter has been telling anyone who'll listen about the 'incident'—namely me.

"Last night, the entire Uchiha clan was resurrected from the grave and ended up in the Hokage's office! Lady Tsunade hasn't come out since she went in!" The old man's daughter tells me confidentially, leaning across the counter, "They say that one of the jounin was messing around with a forbidden jutsu last night. You know the thunderstorm we had? Well, they're saying that was caused by the jutsu!" I'm sure she would have told me more, but thankfully I was spared as a more regular patron ducked into the shop, brushing raindrops from his hair.

I left enough money to cover the bill and trudged out onto the cold, sodden streets of Konoha. My name isn't of great importance to you, but I can tell you in almost perfect certainty that I know _why _the Uchiha's have suddenly ceased their state of mortality.

I believe this was all the fault of some poor, delusional, Sasuke-Fangirl. In a self-sacrificing act of gallantry, I believe she sacrificed herself to the god of Allthingsfandom in order to bring back Sasuke's family and relieve him of his loneliness.

But I am not privy to the goings-on of ninja, being a rather reclusive individual by nature. I can only rationalize so much, and I concede that there is a sizeable probability that this is all part of a diabolical scheme by the sanin that deserted us years ago. But I am an optimist by nature, and it is for every man to decide on this matter for himself, or herself.

The sun is peeking up behind the Hokage Monument. I have had a very enjoyable conversation with you, but I am afraid I must take my leave. If I'm late for another deadline my editor will have my head.

--

_Sasuke could hardly think straight. The only thing on his mind was how much he _adored _the man whose blond head moved in between his legs. His lower body was trapped in a scorching hot vacuum. Sasuke came back to himself with a whimper as the heat retracted and Naruto crawled up his chest to place soft kisses on his neck. _

_"Sasuke," Naruto gasped as he ground his hips forward, shuddering in blind pleasure, "Sasuke…"_

--

Uchiha Mikoto awoke in the Hokage's office as if from a dream. Her husband, Fugaku put a shaking hand on her shoulder. Mikoto looked around in surprise, their entire clan was squeezed into the gigantic mission room. How they had gotten there, she had no idea. Fugaku's grip on her shoulder tightened as they both thought the same thing.

"Where's Sasuke?"

There was a flurry of activity through the room. Finally Fugaku ordered them to stop and line up around the room. He scanned the room. When his eyes fell upon the couple who owned the Senbei shop at the end of the line he paled. There were only two Uchiha's not present. Sasuke and Itachi.

There was a shriek and everyone jumped a foot in the air, when they landed kunai and weapons glinted in the hands of many. A woman with pale-blonde pigtails and gigantic knockers stood in the doorway. (This is where Mikoto smacks Fugaku for using the term 'knockers')

"You're, you're…" she babbled.

Fugaku sneered, "Uchiha Fugaku. Where is the Hokage? I must speak to him at once."

The woman was over her shock in seconds. She drew herself up regally, "You're looking at the Hokage, Uchiha Fugaku."

--

AAANND I'm done for now. I'll probably get the next, and hopefully FINAL chapter later tonight or tomorrow. This is a two-shot, more narusasu goodness is on the way! D yay me… whatever.

Feedback is always appreciated. And if you decide to fav this, then can you tell me why? Cause that would totally rock my world… or steam my broccoli. Or snap my sugar peas. Or another lame vegetable pun.


	2. You're doing WHAT with my son?

Mikoto had to jog to keep up with Fugaku's stride as he made a beeline for the Uchiha compound.

"Fugaku!" She called. He paid her no heed. Mikoto had a feeling that if it weren't considered undignified, Fugaku would have stuffed his fingers in his ears and yelled 'lalalalalalalalalalalalala.'

"Talk to me," she threaded her arm through his tense one, partly for comfort and partly to conserve body heat. Gray rain sprinkled down on the nearly deserted streets. The yellow glow of the Ichiraku Ramen stand bathed a patch of the street in front of them with false warmth.

Fugaku's jaw clenched and unclenched as they passed the stand. Laughter flooded out and died as they turned the corner. Mikoto waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts as the minutes ticked by.

"I need to see it for myself."

The Uchiha compound was only a mile and a half away.

--

_Naruto whimpered into Sasuke's shoulder and clenched his hands tightly. Sasuke managed a strangled laugh._

"_Heh, you'd almost think it was _**you're **_the one on the receiving end," he taunted, drawing a deep breath, trying to relax his screaming muscles as Naruto pushed his way inward._

"_Sasuke," Naruto didn't seem to even hear the jibe. His hot breath in Sasuke's ear sent excited shivers down Sasuke's spine, "Speak to me." Sasuke could feel Naruto's long eyelashes on his cheek and rough lips kissing his jaw. Naruto bucked his hips forward a little and Sasuke groaned._

"_Why?" Fugaku's son gasped, tracing his hands up Naruto's back to bury them in soft golden hair. _

_Naruto breath was ragged with lust, "god, Sasuke, I swear I can fuckin' _**feel**_ it when you do." _

"_I've got good news for you then," Sasuke panted, taking morbid delight in Naruto's reaction to his voice, "it only gets better from here. Sit up."_

_There was a moment of awkward maneuvering as Sasuke tried to get Naruto onto his back while maintaining the connection. They both hissed in pain as Sasuke shifted to the right a little too far. _

"_I thought you said it only gets better from—aah" Sasuke sat , putting his full weight on Naruto's cock and thrust forward slightly. The sensation was maddeningly painful, but the way Naruto's eyes rolled up into their sockets and his head flopped backwards made it worth it. Sasuke took a deep breath and steadied himself by placing his hands on the seal mark that was only slightly darker than Naruto's skin. He began to move up and down slowly, undulating his lower body. _

_Sasuke bit his cheek and tried to ignore the pain by focusing on Naruto's face. His blue eyes were roving Sasuke's lower body with hunger, and suddenly they flicked up to Sasuke's face and locked eyes with him. The smoldering blue fire that burned in them caught Sasuke's body on fire and as he came down a jolt of pleasure caught him off guard._

"_Nnnng, Naruto," for the first time since they had entered Sasuke's room he muttered Naruto's name. _

_Before he knew what was happening, he was flipped flat on his back and Naruto's hand was between Sasuke's legs as he thrust into him wildly. _

--

From what Fugaku could remember, at this time yesterday the Uchiha compound it had been clean and prosperous. What fell upon his eyes now were the decaying ruins of a ghost town.

Mikoto tightened her grip on his arm.

Waking up to find out you've been murdered by your oldest son eleven years ago is hard. Fugaku's mouth hardened into a thin line. Mikoto ventured closer to one of the shops. Dust was piled on the inside of the glass. The rain began to fall more persistently, but Fugaku made no effort to acknowledge it.

"The Hokage said that Sasuke still lived here." Mikoto stated, sounding for all the world like she had not just found out that her precious Itachi had murdered her in cold blood years ago. "We should find him. Maybe he's found a nice girl to help revive the clan."

When she noticed her husband was not following her she turned and regarded him with cool eyes, "We can only move forward, Fugaku." She held out her hand and Fugaku strode forward to take it.

"What would I do without you?" he toned.

"Become a statue." She replied.

--

Their house was as barren as the rest of the compound. For an hour they scoured as much as the compound as possible. Finally Mikoto suggested they take a walk to the lake.

They walked in silence, trying to make as little noise as possible. The states of the buildings seemed to improve as they moved farther from their house. In one of the houses a light was on in one of the windows. Mikoto felt her heart squeeze in excitement.

The front door was open and they let themselves in. They had to throw themselves out of the way as a rain of shuriken fell from above. As Fugaku picked himself up from the ground he surveyed the room. It was simple with a couch and a rug with a mahogany coffee table on it. A hideous orange jacket was draped haphazardly across the arm of the sofa.

"…" Fugaku picked it up and glanced at Mikoto with a raised eyebrow.

The jacket still in hand, Fugaku and Mikoto headed for the darkened stairway, where more articles of clothing had been discarded. (ie: a sock, headband, blue shirt, tanktop, another headband, mittens…don't ask, a sandal, etc…)

"Well, he _is_ eighteen." Mikoto huffed as she spied a wadded up pair of pants at the top of the stairs.

A groan reverberated down the hallway and they froze. After an even louder groan punctuated by a small scream Mikoto flew down the hallway, Fugaku hot on her heels.

--

"_S-Sasuke," Naruto pressed his face into Sasuke's shoulder as he went over the edge with a groan. His fist never stopped moving on the still hard flesh in between Sasuke's legs, though. And after a final pump Sasuke's vision went white and he tried to muffle a scream into Naruto's shoulder. _

_Sasuke listened as Naruto's breathing began to slow and enjoyed the steady thumping of his heart. Tiredly, he pressed his lips on Naruto's relishing the afterglow of sex. _

"SASUKE!" They both jolted horribly as a woman and a man with dark hair burst into the room.

There was a moment of confusion as Mikoto and Fugaku realized what exactly they had walked in on. Naruto gritted his teeth in pain and pulled a loose blanket over them and Sasuke hissed as they tried to disentangle their bodies.

"Stop clenching." Naruto's voice had risen half an octave.

"It's not as easy as it looks." Sasuke hissed back through his teeth. Naruto shifted back and Sasuke bit back a yelp.

"GET OUT!" He roared at the new comers, finally glaring in their direction, his sharingan whirling angrily.

There was a beat before he realized who exactly was standing in the doorway.

Naruto nearly had a heart attack when Sasuke uttered a surprised whimper and passed out cold beneath him.

"S-Sasuke?" he tried shaking him. Suddenly he was wrenched out of the bed and thrown on the floor by the man with dark hair. He landed with an 'oomph' on the wooden floor and covered himself with his orange jacket that the man had been carrying. He was pushed to the wall with a kunai at his throat.

"What exactly were you doing with my son?" He snarled, and Naruto was hypnotized by the three swirling tomoes in his eyes.

"Wait. What?" Was all he managed to say before he slipped into the dark pupils of Fugaku's eyes.

Compared to walking in on his son in the middle of intercourse with another man, finding out his entire clan (including himself) had been wiped out was a cakewalk.

--

HEY! Guess what? Here's the next chapter, and it's only…. Two, three days overdue? Yeah, no more promising deadlines. Anyway, I was thrilled with the all the favorites and story alerts!

But I still would like more reviews… I dunno, I guess I just like it when I get actual comments instead of just alerts… (man, I'm lame)

OH, by the way I guess this is going to be more than a twoshot…. DX

No more than five, that's all I gotta say.

On a parting note, **What's your favorite character and what's your favorite color?**


	3. Ted

A/N: Okay, so it seems this chapter is a little moreconfusing than I thought it was, sorry,let me tell you what I was thinking. The confrontation between Fugagku and Naruto has been skipped over for now, and this isa kind of in betweenchapter.You guys remember the unimportant character in chapter one?He's back. And his name's Ted. And he'sstill relatively unimportant.

* * *

It's around six in the morning right now. I've been squatting on my heels outside of the Uchiha compound for over an hour by my reckoning. Chewing on the eraser end of a pencil and staring in vain at a glaringly blank notepad. 

Yeah, it's me again. Hey. 

I know, you were expecting some one much more exciting and dangerous, right? Women think that if a man is dangerous and shady he's automatically hot and swarm all over him for his attention, which would explain why I'm currently, and _painfully,_ single. 

Man, I should've been a ninja.

But no, I just _had_ to be writer. Which brings me to the point. I'm actually hiding from my editor right now. So if you see a man with ridiculous, white hair, send him in the opposite direction from the Uchiha compound, will you? Thanks a bunch. That's a load off my mind.

I didn't notice I wasn't alone until a man wearing a suit squatted down on the wall next to me. To say the least, I was disconcerted. The man just hunched there, pulling at his orange tie and looking nervous. He was a lanky fellow. His suit was stiff and hung off of his form—if I had to take a guess, I would say it was borrowed. He didn't look like the type to own a formal suit. Then again, from what I know, most ninja have no use for a tuxedo. 

The only sound apart from the crickets in the grass was the crinkling of plastic as the man shifted a bouquet of flowers from his right hand to his left. He ran his right hand through his spiky blond hair and bit his lip. 

"Are you okay?" I finally venture after another excruciatingly awkward minute of silence.

"What? Oh. Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he laughs unconvincingly. 

"I don't know, you just seemed..." I trailed off, unsure of what I was going to say. 

"Nervous?" He supplies.

"Yeah, nervous." Oh man, not again. I swear, I'm such a push over when it comes to these kinds of things. Maybe I should have been a therapist. "You want to talk about it?" I offer and looks at me with surprise, then utters a strained giggle.

"Are you for real, old man?" His ears are red. 

"Yeah, and I'm not that old, I'm twenty-five if you must know." I snort, wishing I could disappear.

"Alright, but you asked for it." He says. ...

"Wow." I say as he finishes. The sun's beginning to peak over the Hokage monument. 

"Yeah, I know, right?" the man doesn't look any better than when he began. "It's been about two days since I woke up outside of those gates, right over there." He points. 

I'm not quite sure what to say, so I remain silent. "So... You really do...?" I say finally.

"With all of my heart." he replies, looking miserable.

"You've got to tell him." I say. 

"What?" He jumps up, "I can't! He'll laugh at me!"

"So?" I rise to my full height, wincing as my legs cramp at the sudden movement, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I'm slightly taller than him, "If what you've told me is right he'll be too happy to see you to laugh at what you say. He deserves to know, you should tell him."

I take a step back as the man glares at me. The red sunrise reflects in his iris for a moment before he turns away and scrubs at his eyes with the sleeve at his jacket. 

"You're sure he won't laugh at me?" he almost sounds like a kid for a moment.

"No," I say truthfully, then rush on before he can say something, "but then again I've never been in a relationship with a man," _or a woman for that matter, but he doesn't need to know that, _"but you'll never know until you try, right?"

"Yeah," he smiles at me and I'm nearly blinded by his teeth. "Thanks, man!" I nearly lose my balance and fall as he claps me on the back. 

Then he's striding through the gates and I'm thinking to myself, _Good job, Ted, you just sent that man to his certain demise. Mom would be _sooo_ proud. _

_- --- --------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------_

Annnnd another chapter closer to the end. Does everyone remember the first narrator in chapter one? I think this is the last time he'll be showing up. 

_Also, from last chapter's reviews there were: _3 Blue Sasukes, One Green Gaara, one blue Namine, A blob of Pink, one Green Kiba, the love child of Rock-Lee, Naruto and Sasuke wearing black and pink, one White Hinata, one Blue Naruto, The love child of Gaara and Lee wearing Crimson, (are you ready for this?)The love child of Minato, Kakashi and Itachi's love child with the love child of Naruto and Sasuke in red, one gray and Purple Lee, one Black Sasuke, The love child of Naruto, Shikamaru and Shino in black. 

For you guys who couldn't make up your mind, I had the characters you chose have a love child wearing that color XD

**Did you like it? Then REVIEW please! Feedback is awesome! **

_**What does this look like? Does it frighten you?**_ (If you've read the first chapter of The Little Prince you'll get it)


	4. Suits and Crybabehs D:

As the sun began its long ascent into the sky the men and women of the Uchiha clan greeted it with the sounds of hammering and construction. Those whose homes were situated closest to Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto's home found their abodes in worse disrepair than the others. Coincidentally, the lucky clansmen who lived closest to Sasuke's home found they had little to do but a bit of dusting.

Curious villagers that wandered into the compound found themselves working just as hard as the families at the reconstruction. One such civilian, the daughter of the man who owned the Ichiraku Ramen stand, swept layers upon layers of dust out of a tiny shop on the corner for the old couple who lived there.

"Are you thirsty, dear?" The old woman asked, her wrinkles nearly swallowed her eyes when she smiled.

"No, thank...," The daughter trailed off and stared out the front door of the shop. There was a lull in the compound as a man, a ninja, to be exact, in a black suit walked by. He clutched a bouquet of flowers in his right hand so tightly that his knuckles were white. As soon as he disappeared around the corner a hammer descended upon a nail and the workers returned to their work.

27272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727272727

Naruto felt his mouth go dry as he approached Sasuke's house. Everything was quiet, too quiet. He wished he could tell himself that he was being overly paranoid, but dammit, he could _feel_ the eyes of the Uchiha clan drilling into his back. He could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He could feel his untimely doom descending upon him with each step.

Then he was in front of Sasuke's house, standing on the welcome mat and wishing he had just stayed at home.

He raised the hand that wasn't holding onto the flowers to knock and paused.

Naruto wasn't sure that he had ever been more afraid of a door.

Luckily, he didn't even get the chance to knock because just then someone crashed into him from the side, knocking them both to the ground. Naruto wheezed a curse as Sasuke grabbed his hand and half-dragged him out of the compound before he managed to stumble to his feet.

Then they were flying across the rooftops, Sasuke was gripping his hand like it was a lifeline, deaf to Naruto's questions. The streets of Konoha fell away beneath their feet and grew into forest before Sasuke finally stopped.

He smashed their lips together without warning. Naruto uttered a smothered gurgled of surprise and pushed him back.

"Sasuke, what—?" he quirked an eyebrow at him. Sasuke glowered back.

"Kiss me, dammit." He hissed and grabbed Naruto's orange tie, pulling him forward.

"No," Naruto pressed his forehead against Sasuke's and looked into his eyes, "what's wrong?" he whispered.

"..." Sasuke's eyes were red rimmed. His mouth tugged downwards at the corners and trembled for a moment. "Please. Naruto, just kiss me."

Well, shit. Naruto had never heard Sasuke on the verge of tears before. It made him ache in funny places.

He wrapped an arm around Sasuke and tilted his chin up slightly. For a moment he paused, then closed his eyes and kissed the man softly on his lips.

Sasuke promptly slumped against him and dissolved into tears.

Naruto held him close and rubbed circles into his back. He kissed him on the top of his head, "Don't cry, I'm here... I love you, Sasuke, don't cry, please don't cry... I'll make it better, I'll..." he didn't know what he'd do. He would've promised Sasuke the world on a silver plate if he had thought it would have helped.

For nearly five minutes Sasuke sobbed into Naruto's suit and Naruto pretended that being cried on was the most natural thing in the world.

Finally Sasuke came back from the land of tears and drew a shaky breath, taking big lung fulls of air as if he had been underwater for long time. He rested his head against Naruto's shoulder and avoided his eyes.

"Sorry," he spat, "I got your shirt wet."

Naruto shrugged and kissed Sasuke's head, "I don't care."

"Did you mean that?" Sasuke said suddenly, pulling away from Naruto's hold to look at him.

"Mean what?" Naruto wished he wouldn't have left, he felt cold without him.

"When you said... thatyoulovedme?" Sasuke said the last part very quickly, embarrassed by talk of feelings.

"...y-yeah." Naruto gulped, suddenly self-conscious. He busied himself with fixing his tie and jacket to avoid looking at Sasuke.

"Oh," a very long and awkward crouched to attack the unsuspecting conversation, but Sasuke cut in, "What the hell are you wearing?"

"Oh, uh, well," Naruto scratched the back of his head, and his ears began to burn, " see, since I didn't really get off to a good start with your parents I figured I'd try starting over?"

-- --

Cliffhanger anyone? 8D I know, you hate me, that's cool... for some reason I feel that this isn't the best chapter I've written... ugh, I need to get back in the habit.

The look I imagined on Naruto's face when Sasuke starts crying is something akin to : OMGWTF??

Oh, and sorry I made Sasuke such a pansy. I was making up for his lack of ukeness, and I totally wanted some narusasu fluff. XD

Sorry the last chapter was so confusing, I seriously thought it wouldn't be that hard to get... D8

Oh well, water under the bridge, eh? Mikoto and Fugaku will be in the next chapter, I promise!!

**I don't base my updates on reviews, but damn are they nice to get. **_-hint hint, wink wink, say no more-_


	5. In the Parlor with Fugaku and Mikoto

"I don't like him." Fugaku hissed at Mikoto as soon as his son's "friend" was out of earshot.

"You don't even know him," She hissed right back.

"Neither do you!" Fugaku strained not to yell, nearly pulling out his graying hair in frustration. Itachi had never caused these kinds of problems! Well, except for the whole "killing off the clan" thing, but who's counting?

"He came back, didn't he?" Mikoto crossed her arms across her chest and put on her best stubborn face, "That shows he at least cares about our son. Besides, I think he's sweet."

"Mikoto!" Fugaku's voice cracked hysterically, "He was... was.. F—having carnal relations with our _son_!! _Our _son, who's a _male!_"

"Fugaku," Mikoto had a dangerous look in her eye, "you're being closed-minded again."

"I don't care," Fugaku sneered, sounding for all the world like petulant child.

"Now you listen to me, sir," Mikoto glared at her husband, "you will go back in there with me and _pretend_ to like it, and you _will_ be polite to Sasuke's friend."

Fugaku shrank under her fury, speechless and confused and just a little afraid. "M-Mikoto... you've never talked to me like that before..." he sounded more hurt than he meant to.

"Haven't I? I guess after you've died once you lose track of how to act politely," she looked angry for a moment and then her face softened and she took Fugaku's face in her hands. "I'm sorry, love, I don't mean to be cross with you," she traced the wrinkles on his forehead with a gentle finger before kissing them, "but sometimes you're just so goddamn pig-headed."

"I can't help it if I'm old," Fugaku groused.

"Mind over manner, dear. Mind over manner."


	6. In the Livingroom with Sasuke and Naruto

"I don't think they like me." Naruto whispered across the coffee table to Sasuke.

Sasuke looked up from his hands which were clasped in his lap and crooked an eyebrow at him, "What gave it away?"

Naruto wilted, "I was looking for a little reassurance here." He whined.

"My mother likes you," Sasuke offered.

"Really?" Naruto's face was hopeful, "I couldn't tell. I mean, I thought _you_ were an ice prince, but your parents..." he laughed nervously, "wow."

"Huh," Sasuke scowled and looked away.

"Ah crap, what did I say this time?" Naruto frowned at him, "you've been so fucking touchy about everything these days that I can't even open my fucking mouth without you icing over and refusing to talk to me! You have to tell me what I'm doing wrong, I'm not perfect you know!"

"Well that much is obvious," Sasuke spat.

If Sasuke's parents hadn't been in the other room, Naruto would have beaten the crap out of him.

"You don't have to be such a bitch about it," Naruto snorted instead, putting as much malice into it as he could.

Sasuke snapped. "Well how the hell else am I supposed to act, Naruto? My entire fucking clan just rose out of the fuckin' grave just when I was getting ready to kill my psychopathic fuck of a brother who killed them all in the first place! How the hell am I supposed to act when my parents ask me what happened to _Itachi??_" his was rose with every word until he was screaming across the table at Naruto, with tears of rage blinding his vision, "How the hell am I going to tell them that I couldn't even put a _scratch_ on him?! How would _you_ feel if your parents thought of _you_ as a failure?! Oh, wait, I forgot, you wouldn't feel anything because you don't _have_ parents!!"

The burning rage Naruto felt welling up inside him disappeared and suddenly he felt very cold. Numbly he stood up, not looking at Sasuke.

"Naruto," Sasuke realized what he said a moment too late, and reached for him, "Naruto please—I didn't..."

Naruto's reply was the sound of a door slamming shut.

-- -- --

OOOh snap, Sasuke, that was a burn! Haha! Angst! WTF is up with that?

Anyway, I though these (very short—sorry) chapters did better alone rather than together... (cause fugaku and Naruto don't get along very well, get it? Get it?)

Anyway, **Reviews are nicer than faves or alerts (which are also pretty Groovy, too) **


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